Empty Spaces

I spent a good part of my life trying to fill empty spaces with things that didn't fit. I looked for fulfilment in places, people, food and books. The space was meant for God. I would make lists of things I wanted to do, taste, see, experience, go about doing them and still have a space meant for God. Until I realized that, nothing was going to be able to fill it, it stayed empty. I had a huge loneliness for Him. A thirst. I longed for a satisfied feeling to finally fill me. Thank God for revelation that He was my need.
Likewise I think I spent a lifetime loving men, taking care of them, demanding from them all in preparation for 'THE ONE'. Mr. High Hat is a warm soft place for my love to rest. He is my earthly best friend and I love him on a level that I could not imagine before. It makes all the other times, all the other men seem to be in a different league as different as apples and oranges. How could I have ever thought that any of that was love? I will never know, except to maybe show me exactly where this, right now, fits in the scheme of things.
If anyone reading this is stifling what they think, who they are for any significant other, just stop right now. If the person you are with doesn't add to your life in EVERY area, just stop right now. If when you look at him or her and you don't feel completely accepted, stop right now. If you can't sing and dance around them for fear of feeling foolish, turn around and walk away. You should look at them and be at home. They should love you with something only God can give to them to give to you.