Peace By Any Means

It is a hard thing to not take up for yourself. The world asks you "Who else will?" When you take this approach in life you often become labeled as combative, argumentative or even angry. Others remember your time together as that, even if it is not the majority of the time. It's a difficult thing to be positioned in. Especially when you are a victim or perceive yourself to be one. I find myself "standing up" for what is right, for my rights for what I think of as the truth. But is it worth peace? Do you want to be known as the 'uh-oh' person? Do you want to be known as the person that brings peace the every situation? I do, but it is going to take me surrendering to God, allowing him to be my advocate, my savior. It's a work in progress.

Spinning in the Snow

This snow covered weekend has finally come to a rest. All is now right with the world. All of the men in my life are right where they should be :) . However, they talked to me so much that I almost forgot that I missed them!

So...

How do you like the new look??!!

Double Standard

You live your life being who you are, trying to stay true to that. Everyone has a certain set of morals which are usually attached to a certain set of desired outlooks they want the world to perceive about them. Honest people want to be believed. Nice people want to be liked. Mean people want to not be hurt. Angry people want to be left alone. This is not to say that we are one dimensional and only portray one of these. These are mere examples. When people don't line up to your own set of morals, we usually classify them negatively. Honesty is in my opinion the trickiest attribute. We expect everyone to be honest with us. We judge them according to complete honesty. But our vision is skewed. We believe that we are always honest with them or at the very least they don't know when we are not. LOL! Laughable!

When the World Turns Blue...

It's real interesting how we look at the world through our emotions. It's the same world, the same people, the same situations. But because we are either elated or in a funk, nothing looks the same. With a spring in our step and a smile in our heart everything seems to have possibilities. Every situations has a silver lining. Every obstacle is an opportunity for growth. There is a sermon in every 'gone wrong'. You are a conqueror and you have the victory. You are an unstoppable force and warrior for Christ!
What if you flip the page and your heart is broken or your world is upside down, then "the devil is busy", or "Why me Lord?". Every song sings your woes, every word is a testament to your pain. You are 'just going through' and you sing 'nobody knows the trouble I've seen".
But if we really look at it, we can see how God's Joy is a needed aspect in our lives. It is an elation, a happiness that is everlasting, not swayed by circumstances or wrought through emotion. It gives you strength and fuels your 'keep on'. It gives power and true meaning to every cliche spoken. You even have power in your knees when you get down on them and pray. When you have God's joy you ARE more than a conqueror! You DO have the victory and you have the power and strength to walk in it. To be a warrior, you have to stand even when the bullets fly. You have to stand even when your insides are shaking. You have to stand and FIGHT! You will never win by switching sides. When you operate in fear, doubt or in pain instead of through pain, you throw up the white flag and surrender your gun. Don't give up, in deeds or words. Hold tight to God's joy. It is something worth fighting for. Something worth seeking. Something worth holding on to. Get some joy in your life and bring its sister; PEACE!

One - the Loneliest Number - Underlined, Italicised, Bold & Highlighted

Last night was one of those nights when everything is hard to hold on to. My baby went to his first boy/girl dance. He wanted to look nice, nicer than even I expected. I dressed him in slacks and a button up shirt. He came out with Cologne and a tie, saying that he was trying to impress the girl he likes. He wanted his shirt tucked in and he wore a belt. I was so sad, not because he is growning up :'( but because I know some little girl is going to break his heart and change him a little. I have no control over his heart. I have no control over inconsiderate little fast tail girls. I want him to not have heart break, to not have pain. I'm a Mama. Its useless to try and fight it.

Not only that, I'm a hostage of frozen flecks of ice! So, I'm here with plenty of food and plenty of movies; BUT STILL STUCK!

Lines That Connect, Ties That Bind

There were three sisters, each thinking that they were the favorite of their mother, liked to brag to the other two sisters. Since bragging was not a lady like thing to do, they each devised a plan to "show off" their new possessions given to them by their dear mother. One sister had received a sparking new ring. One sister acquired a pair of expensive earrings. While the third sister walked proudly in her brand new shoes. As they gathered together, the sister with the new ring pointed to an imaginary spider with her ring extended saying in a sugary drawl, "There's a spider". The sister with the new shoes responded as she gracefully put out her new shod foot shaking her heel back and forth singing, "must I mash him?". The sister with earrings replied in a knowing whine, moving her head side to side putting a finger behind each lobe as it made an appearance saying "no, no, no". The sisters were too consumed with their gifts that they never noticed the others gifts.

Other than, vanity makes you blind to others' gifts, I've never really figured out the moral of this story told to me by my grand mother, but it has become a family "thing". We don't even have to finish the story. When anyone gets something new we simply say "there's a spider" and we ALL know what we are talking about.

Its these kinds of things that make family family. The shared knowledge of each other, a collective sigh at the same things, a tradition that becomes second nature or a story that connects the generations. "Mama" maybe gone home to be with the Lord, but her stories are here alive and kicking just like her!

Supernatural Exits

There are certain things you go through that once you are on the other side, you will never be the same and you will not be able to help or stop the change in you. Once you go into labor and have a baby, you will forever be a mother. It does not matter if the baby survives, if you don't keep him or her, if it hates you from that day forward. You will still, with no hope of reprieve, be a mother. Once an appendage is amputated, no matter how many prosthesis you are fitted for or how many chairs you roll in, you will forever be without that limb. Likewise there are some encounters with God that will forever change you. Once you come out on the other side, you will not have a chance to go back. You and those around you will know that God has touched your life. A lions' den experience. A red sea moment. You will know that your survival had nothing to do with anything but Him. The mere fact that you are walking out of a smoking building, it being engulfed in flames is a shout to the world that God reigns. How can it be? they will say. How is it possible?, they should have been dead!...but God. The timbers are burning up around me. My lungs are singeing with acidic soot. I am in the fiery furnace and yet I know that I am on auto pilot. I will run on and see what the end will be. I have a ton of cliches to fit here, but what I want to impart is that I will be used for God's purpose and it seems its as I will be if I like it or not. So I'm trying to stop flailing about, and just float with Him.

Loud & Clear

Some people hear a still small voice on a regular basis. I, on the other hand, must ignore it because God's method of choice to speak to me, or rather my method of listening, is by examples. While I'm certain that He has tried to get to me through whispering in my ear or by unctions deep in my gut, my life has been too noisy or my head too hard for me to hear. Obviously! So, because I am one of His most hard-headed children he 'shows' me things. For the past 6 years I have been running laps on the subject of obedience. I say running laps because I guess, I'm just not getting it. Over and over He shows me how to behave through my children. Not because they are angels, just the opposite. Well, not opposite, but indeed no angels. Every lecture, every talking to, every punishment I dole out to them I hear Him (in that small voice that I should have listened to earlier) say "This is how you treat me" or "Use your name instead of theirs" As a parent I have to continue my lessons to them, but man it stings, because it's really me I'm preaching to. A bitter pill to swallow.
Lately, I have been running the faith lap. I have been put into a position to exercise faith in an area that is important to me but harder than you can imagine. I have been put into a situation to have faith in something when everything says not to. When it looks impossible. All I hear God saying is "I am requiring you to have faith in me in situations more impossible than this" A bitter pill to swallow - again. Through this faith lap, I have been handed the baton of forgiveness. This I believed was a conquered area. I have since learned that I just have not had opportunities to forgive. I have only been spared that particular thorn. Until NOW. However, in this season of accountability in my life, I need to be on a different level. A level that requires more growth, more than just foundational faith. But the kind of faith and obedience in God that will draw others to Him, that will effectively stand in the gap for those in need of prayer, that will lay hands on the sick that can fight satan with no fear. I have to have a testimony that will encourage others specifically, not just a "God is good" kind of report. He wants me to say I was in your exact shoes. He did if for me, He can do it for you. I had that same bill. He did it for me, He can do it for you. I was hurt that same way. He did it for me, He can do it for you. Somebody out there needs me to be accountable to God in my life for their survival. Will I stand up? Will I do it for Christ? Somebody did it for me.

Be Careful For What You Pray For, God is Swift on the Up Take!

whoever said that God was slow has never been on their knees praying for a growth in a self confronted improvement. Try praying for patience. You can bet that someone is going to cut you off on the highway or traffic will be awful. You can be sure that your children will not only act up but turn into high sugared little crazy people. Try praying for a clean heart. Thought of kicking your boss or keeping the wallet you found will flood your mind. Try praying to be a better steward over your money. Every bill that could possibly come out will be due all at once and all of this on a check that has about 33 hours of leave without pay! Try praying to be delivered from unforgiveness and watch there be more instances to extend it than you can shake a stick at! It will seem that everyone will hurt you, steal from you, lie to you and not be sorry at all. So not only are you being tested in forgiveness, but then they don't even deserve it!! The worst part of it all is that we as humans will react instead of responding.

I thank God for grace and HIS forgiveness because I don't always get it right. Some days I don't even want to (clean heart part), but He is faithful to grow me and strengthen me.

WOW!

Today someone told me that not only was I not feminine and that I was 'as mean as a bag of acorns' LMBO!!! I don't even know what to say about that. Sheesh!

Do They Come With Sauce?

Nicky-ism: the boys are laying on the couch under the cover. One at each end. Xa is all stretched out reading a book. Nicky is playing with dinosaures, stretched out as well. Suddenly, I hear Nicky say "Hey Xa get you feet off of my 'chicken tenders' " All I could do was leave the room. I don't know what to do with him!

Hot Foot

One the road of life during the many stops and turns you make, the streets and byways you travel, its never OK to toss a cocktail behind you and burn a bridge after you've crossed it. no matter how tempting. No matter how easy, no matter how many books you've read on how to do it. Why? because not only will others cross after you but you may have to go that way again, and again. When you are kind to your enemies or even to the ones that have just done you wrong, you allow God to be God. Keep working for Him, keep learning of Him and He will take care of your life. He will not only work on that person to make them a better them but he may use them to bless you. He may use their wronging of you to encourage someone else in their shoes (not yours). That person my wind up being your blessing or at the very least your lesson. See, if they are to be punished, that's God's job, oh He can do it much better than you. If they are to be converted (which is usually the case) it will have little to do with your worldly punishments but with God's grace being extended to them. They will be forgiven by God, even before they ask and waaay before they deserve it. If you are walking like God will you forgive them? Will you wait until it feels good? or will you please the Lord? I have been tried in unforgiveness lately. I once said that the absence of a reason to not trust does not equal trust. Like wise the absence of instances to forgive does not mean you have conquered that thing. It only means that you have had no opportunity to extend forgiveness. If you are to be put on the wheel should I... I mean you expect to be tried in every area that we don't have victory? Sure the fire burns but oh when you come out...like pure gold.
Just a note to encourge me...I mean you. Learn your lesson and learn it well, get off the track and stop running laps, instead, run tell somebody (of His goodness)