Yippee!

I must say, my day turned out really great! I didn't get out :( but, I got to finally start my other blog ( www.foodatmyhouse.blogspot.com )and I cooked and ate and talked to friends and read. Life is all in what you make it. I implore you to DECIDE how you want to be, how you want to live how you want your story to go.

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It's snowing AGAIN where I live and I am again home alone missing my boys. Its funny how some things underline situations in your life, like a special word in a sentence. I've always loved being alone, or so I thought. But I think I was always been occupied with some thing or another. **note to self: when people are out getting bread and milk, make a trip to the bookstore!** While others are out playing snow ball fights with their kids, or snuggled up with love ones, or doing homework, i'm hunched around a cold hard laptop gently stroking keys that are too close together for my fat fingers! **sigh** **note to self: get a larger laptop, regardless of the trend**

What happens when you mix bored, alone, stuck in the house? You get lots of naps, lots of snacking, lots of planning. So far I've planned 3 trips, 2 websites and a couple of events!

Will you look at the time...I feel a nap coming on!

Freeze You're It

Have you ever been afraid to move? I'm afraid that if I'm wrong, I would have missed out on something great. I'm afraid that if I'm wrong I will have to run this lap again. As I'm writing this, I guess I don't trust that there will be a ram in the bush. So, still I stand, putting out little fires until my toes are so badly burned I wont have a choice. Or here I stand enduring the little fires that purify, resulting in pure gold.

I doubt my convictions, I second guess my thoughts. Its a tough place to be in.

Breathe into Me O'Lord

I'm in a place where I don't want to be. Why am I afraid of moving out of it? I have come to the realization that I don't know the voice of God unless He screams. My "unction" is turned off. Like a friend that you remember but have had no real contact with in years, you forget how they actually look or how they actually sound or how they actually are. Oh sure, you'll remember them if you saw them, but you couldn't describe them accurately. You know how they used to be before life and experiences changed them as they do to us all. But knowing them for who they are today, you wouldn't be entirely correct, couldn't be. Fortunately with God, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. However, you can become unfamiliar with His voice if you don't see him often. Have I done that? It seems so because I'm confused. The only fix is to spend time with Him, more reading, more praying, more focusing on Him.

I need to be able to pick Him out in a crowd, amongst the noise in my head, amid the sea of problems I have to face. In the middle of my storm. I have to know His voice, to understand His ways. I don't know how I got here but I'm not staying. Confusion is from the devil and he has got to go.

So I'm asking Him to speak to me, teach me. Breathe new life into me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXiK1-84RHs&feature=related

Some Seeds Need to Die

My son likes to walk along the edge of the sidewalk, the curb. The entire sidewalk is available to him, but he teeters along the edge playing with the possibility of falling off and into the street. "Walk in the middle where it is safe" I say everyday. "Cars are coming move over so you wont get hit" I repeat over and over again. "If you fall you might hurt yourself" I warn. But every day, he goes right back to the edge, obviously saying to himself 'I'm sure I wont get hurt, I'm careful' or 'She worries too much'! Sometimes he does trip and fall into the street. Sometimes he almost does and I swear, that is when he has the most fun. My boy is not just a boy. He is a little man and I see seeds of 'man-retardation' in him everyday. (I'm laying prostrate and praying for him right now!) There can be a whole side walk of safe for a man, good home, cooked meals, the right amount of romance, fun, laughter, excitement all with a beauty beyond measure and this, now this full-fledged retardation plant, has gone out and walked on the edge. Cheating, lying, gambling, whatever the curb is. Oh, he knows the risks but its all a game to him. The mere thrill of rotating your arms to keep from falling out into the street is just what the doctor ordered for the retardation plant. He tight-ropes the curb again and again with no real remorse. Oh sure he says to himself "one day, I'll stay in the middle, one day real soon, but first..." or "I'm sure having a bad sidewalk day, think I'll see whats up with the curb over here"

It baffles me how seemingly good men can do this. How can you risk everything to walk on a curb? How can you hurt the ones you love just to rotate your arms in an 'almost fall'? I'll never get the understanding of the retarded plant.

There is a sermon in there somewhere.

Who the Heck is Murphy?!

Well some days start out good, continue in that light, have the feel of ending that way, but low and behold, Murphy and his stupid laws walk through the door. Why can't a day be completely peaceful, completely wonderful, completely right? Do problems HAVE to come before I close my eyes. Should I go to bed hours early in an attempt to beat Murphy to my door?

All I'm saying is "hello day, end right!" "for once, end the way you started"!

A servant is one that provides a service, aids, helps, assists. A servant humbles themselves to God and looks at the needs of others before their own. A servant leads by setting examples which provides a service to the followers.

A servant serves even when she doesn't want to. She gives when its not convenient. She goes where she's not welcomed and when sleep has been a distant memory. She loves when they don't deserve it. She feeds when even she is hungry. All for God.

The life of a servant seems like a tired one, one that is thankless. I will tell you though, that to be in service for the Lord is a Joy, a fulfillment that is complete in itself.

Being a member of the Body of Christ and working in your area is a "filled cup". If you are a finger in the body of Christ all your hearts desires are to point and touch. You want to do what you are meant to do. You are at you happiest when you get to point and touch. If you are a hair on the head, your greatest desires are to blow in the wind and maybe keep a neck warm. So if God created us and we are a part of the body, fulfilling our function is a marvelous thing. Its a service that is gladly done. I encourage any one looking for where they fit in in the body to just get in where you fit in. God will miraculously move you and shift you into the spot where you belong (Romans 8:28) Serve where you are with joy in your heart.

Chronic Romantic

Never regret who you are if God made you that way. If you are inquisitive; then question and don't wonder why things puzzle you. Your discoveries make the world go 'round. If you are a problem solver; then solve problems and don't wonder why they come your way. If you are a prayer warrior then pray and don't wonder why your heart bleeds for everyone. If you are a singer then sing and don't wonder why everything has a melody, a rhythm. If you are a romantic, then love with your whole heart and don't wonder why you do it time and time again. If you are called to lay hands on the sick, do it, and don't wonder why you see so much calamity. If you are social, then entertain and don't wonder why you are never alone. Fix pasta and keep it moving.

Hello, my name is VT and I am a chronic romantic.
I love.
It is what I do.
I pour out my insides regardless. Regardless of what you ask? Regardless of EVERYTHING! My love covers all areas. I don't fall in love, I completely drop! I drop as if there is no bottom. For my children, my family, my church, my guys, my God. My love for them is like a step off the deep end. Only one of these loves me back the way I want. **sigh** but alas, it does not stop me. I refuse to be someone who changes because of past hurts. I refuse to not give everything I've got for a chance to get everything I want. I've been promised it. I have hope in it, for my children, for my family, for me personally.

Oh, yes, I'm as sick as the next person of the disappointments of this world. They seem so unfair and so avoidable. I try to learn what I'm supposed to in every situation but Lord sometimes things seem so unfair. It's almost as if I have asked for these things. I constantly examine myself to see how I could have avoided it, how I could have stopped it, but sometimes, there is no answer. Sometimes an unrequited love is what life deals you. Learn the lesson and never be regretful of giving your best. Just be sure you gave your best. When it is time to either reap the benefits or walk away, you will do so without one once of remorse.

I love.
It's what I do, and I like that about me.

Oh Freedom

Can you imagine being in a dark room with your eyes closed trying to get out of the door? So, you feel around. Touching things, trying to identify them, maybe even tripping over things. Stubbing a toe, making a wrong turn, running into a wall. But there is a breeze on your legs, so you know you are close, a crispness to the air. You make your way trying to judge left or right, close or far to your 'freedom'.

I feel as if freedom is right around the corner. There will be a point in my life very soon when all of my prayers will be answered, all of my longings will come to fruition. Where I can not only touch the door but open it and make my way out. Right now I'm walking blind, having set back after set back, but I know the terrain and a few strategic foundlings and a cunning moves will lead me to the door I've been waiting for.

Desensitized

There is a paradigm that if a man hits a woman once, he'll do it again. The 'horror of it all' wears off as soon as he pulls his hand away from the contact. My question is; does this same sort of thing apply to other areas? If a man cheats on you, is he more likely to do it again? If a man disrespects you once, will he be more likely to do it again? Will he go from sneaking around to blatant offenses, from mumbling under his breath to cussing you out? If a man gets away with pushing the boundaries of 'relationship' will be continue to do so. From drinks with coworkers to over night trips to late night phone calls, to not being available when he's with them. Is it just that the novelty has worn off of these taboo things or has it become sport to see how far you can go without missing (getting caught, having her leave, being in trouble)? Even being in trouble, like with children, loses its power if the 'trouble' is empty and respect has left the building. As women we seem to have in us the whole 'turn the other cheek' mentality as an innate trait, a DNA code, a relationship retardation. Where is the line drawn in the sand that separates foolish from forgiveness? I have no answers. Only more questions. The only truth I know is that we, as women have to stop being concerned with what we may be losing and think about what we are gaining. Self respect. Self esteem. Space for the right thing. Peace. Hope. Self Love.

There is always a ram in the bush!

Your beliefs Should Mirror Your Convictions & Result In A Walk

It's time to take a stand for what you believe in. Not just feel something with conviction, but believe it so much that you base the very direction of your feet on it. Your steps are taken because of what you know, not what you see. Take a look at your heart and think about what you truly believe in. Your job; do you believe that you are to work as unto the Lord? Then be on time, do your job, stop the back biting. Your 'other' do you really love them with the love the Lord or do you conditionally like or lust after them? Is this a long haul relationship or a seasonal one? Then build them up, encourage them. Trust them, and speak life into them. Your children; are they a gift from God that you have been give charge over? Speak life over them, encourage them, respect them, teach them, make them a priority. Your home; are you going to serve the Lord there and be transparent to God after the doors are locked? Allow only peace into the doors. Stand for what is right. Your family; will you love them no matter what? You didn't get to choose them, but love them where they are, not where are.

Just evaluate your beliefs. These things may not be on your list but everyone has a list. The world says that if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything. God says that So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold, He will spit you from His mouth. Be definitive today. Walk where convictions are. Speak from your heart, truly believe in something.