Am I getting old

There is this thing that happens to all of the blessed folks I know. Growing old. The alternative is not appealing to me. However, the things that come along with it leave something to be desired. Stiff knees. Achy back. Gray hair. Failing memory. Bring them on. I can take those with no problem. A bottle of dye, a few post-its and some Ben-gay, I'm good to go. I'm even looking forward to menopause. Nicky and Xavier are more than enough for me. I have hair growing in places I care not to mention. Is this God's ugly joke on single women? He brings you close in age to your sexual peak, but gives you a beard and mustache to fend off any attractive suitors!!! Abstinence by way of fur!! I'm thinking of becoming a side-show freak. I spend more on wax, creams and other apparatuses than I do on toothpaste! I'm afraid to pray for the hair to stop growing or to go away for fear that my fun loving God will take it from off my head instead of my chin!! I'm afraid of turning into "My aunt with the beard" Lord help me please!