Loud & Clear

Some people hear a still small voice on a regular basis. I, on the other hand, must ignore it because God's method of choice to speak to me, or rather my method of listening, is by examples. While I'm certain that He has tried to get to me through whispering in my ear or by unctions deep in my gut, my life has been too noisy or my head too hard for me to hear. Obviously! So, because I am one of His most hard-headed children he 'shows' me things. For the past 6 years I have been running laps on the subject of obedience. I say running laps because I guess, I'm just not getting it. Over and over He shows me how to behave through my children. Not because they are angels, just the opposite. Well, not opposite, but indeed no angels. Every lecture, every talking to, every punishment I dole out to them I hear Him (in that small voice that I should have listened to earlier) say "This is how you treat me" or "Use your name instead of theirs" As a parent I have to continue my lessons to them, but man it stings, because it's really me I'm preaching to. A bitter pill to swallow.
Lately, I have been running the faith lap. I have been put into a position to exercise faith in an area that is important to me but harder than you can imagine. I have been put into a situation to have faith in something when everything says not to. When it looks impossible. All I hear God saying is "I am requiring you to have faith in me in situations more impossible than this" A bitter pill to swallow - again. Through this faith lap, I have been handed the baton of forgiveness. This I believed was a conquered area. I have since learned that I just have not had opportunities to forgive. I have only been spared that particular thorn. Until NOW. However, in this season of accountability in my life, I need to be on a different level. A level that requires more growth, more than just foundational faith. But the kind of faith and obedience in God that will draw others to Him, that will effectively stand in the gap for those in need of prayer, that will lay hands on the sick that can fight satan with no fear. I have to have a testimony that will encourage others specifically, not just a "God is good" kind of report. He wants me to say I was in your exact shoes. He did if for me, He can do it for you. I had that same bill. He did it for me, He can do it for you. I was hurt that same way. He did it for me, He can do it for you. Somebody out there needs me to be accountable to God in my life for their survival. Will I stand up? Will I do it for Christ? Somebody did it for me.